It has been FAR too long. I missed blogging almost as much as I miss my old house. That is a lot of missing. The Internet on my laptop hasn't been working. I was mad at first and felt serious rage that made me want to throw it across the room. Now I don't feel such emotions because my dad hooked up our old PC up so I can get on here, but it isn't as convenient when I have things to say at midnight.
Yesterday was Seminary graduation and I talked in Sacrament in the Daniel Ward. I miss it there so much. It was probably the best talk I have ever done. I wrote most of it down but I was able to go off on side notes and look at the faces in the audience which I have always wanted to do. I even cried and was not ashamed which is definitely a step in the right direction. I whole heartily believe theatre prepared me for such public speaking, but I give no credit to the teacher of said class. That woman has taught me nothing except how to hate.
After church was Seminary graduation and I somehow was assigned to sing in the choir so I did so. The process of actually graduation was long and boring but I made it through. After I got my diploma, I read it and the prophet's name is signed. I realized he probably didn't sign each paper by hand, but it was still cool to hold something with his signature on it.
When all that 'excitment' was over with, I came home and made a headband with three strips of fabric that has a bohemian essence about it. I am wearing it now and I like it.
This morning, I accompanied my father, mother and grandmother to Salt Lake where we proceeded to pick out new furniture for the downstairs living room. It is ugly down there and all the furniture is uncomfortable. We found something a lot faster than I would ever have anticipated. So we got a beige leather sectional. And if anyone is every looking for any handsome young men, go to Sofa Mart because there are some hot salesmen roaming around, all to eager to help and give you a friendly smile. :)
Well, here come the part that I never fail to get over. I don't like it here. It has been two months since my imprisonment and I feel I will never get into the grove of it. This place is uncomfortable and awkward. I don't have good relationships with the other members of this family and honestly, I don't feel the desire to work towards one. I am sorry if my teenage bratty side is kicking in here, but I have always been a down-to-earth, level headed youth. I think I should finally be permitted some teen rebellion. I was just telling my friend how much I hate it here and how one member seems to be stealing affection towards me from other family members. When I hug my mother, she does the same. It's bizarre and I don't enjoy it. My 1 year old niece was here and she went to said member, then later I was playing with her and tried to pick her up and she turned away. Of course this didn't hurt my feelings. She is one and I picked her up and played with her anyway and she liked it. It's not like she hates me. Anyway the person laughed at the fact she turned away.
I hate it here and miss my old house so much I cry. I have been such a baby lately. I am fine all day and then I come to this awkward place and at night, I lay in bed and just sob. The only one to give me comfort would be my black lab who curls up next to me and puts his head on my hand. When I'm not sad, I'm angry. Angry at my parents for making me move. Angry at my family for not caring. Angry at those already living here for reasons I shouldn't state. Angry at myself. So I throw fits. I rip the ugly, rotting wallpaper in my room. I intend to get rid of it and paint it this summer.
Even as I write this, my family hasn't checked in on me. But whatever.
I graduate on Wednesday and then I am 'free'. However my captivity here will reign strong because it is where I am bound to this summer. I have no means to escape. Until August. Even then I have to come back to this 'home' on the weekends. I apologize for the complaining, but this is the worst place ever. I hate it here. It is not my home and never will be.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Saturday the Fourteenth
Today is El Cheapo and I sit here in the living room of my inprisonment wishing I were out adventuring or at least watching a movie with friends instead of watching my niece and nephew play with Lincoln Logs. It is gloomy outside. I think it's windy, I see the branches swaIing slightly. I am so bored! In all honestly, I don't have anything to blog about.
School is winding down. I still don't have a job. I still hate it here. This is basically it. So I am going to venture forth into the brisk outdoors and accompany my family with cleaning the back garage. We refer to it as the 'shoppe'. I don't know why...There are a lot of rusty tools out there, it scares me.
School is winding down. I still don't have a job. I still hate it here. This is basically it. So I am going to venture forth into the brisk outdoors and accompany my family with cleaning the back garage. We refer to it as the 'shoppe'. I don't know why...There are a lot of rusty tools out there, it scares me.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
This Lovely Day Dedicated to Mothers
Happy Mother's Day. I would first off like to express how amazing my mother is. She listens and she cares. She is honest with me. She loves me. She likes to spend time with me. She is cheesey and goofy and funny. She is a social butterfly and is assertive. She is friendly and she cares. I love my mother and I wish you, Mum, a Happy Mother's Day. I hope you enjoyed your crepes in bed.
30 days until I graduate from Wasatch High School. Three months until I head off to Westminster college. I can't wait. I love the campus and the vibes it gives off. It's easy going and people actually care there. I know it's expensive, but that is where I need to be. I know a way will be provided to pay for it. I got at least $20,000 in grants/loans/scholarships which is nifty. Only $10,000 to go...I know, I know. I'm crazy. But it will be worth it. I am going to have a great experience and I cant wait to go. Most people cant wait to go to college because there is a new selection of guys and that is exciting. Well guess what, it is! I cannot wait to meet some hotties with nice bodies and get together with 'em. My head is insisting right now that I say I will not even consider getting serious with anyone right away. But my heart is just as fierce and wants to say that if someone comes along, I will not fight it, in fact I might submit easier.
However, I am a crazy person which a lot of people don't know about. Liker seriously, I am a crazy woman. I freak out about stupid things, and I see what I want to see. I guess I create drama that doesn't exist concerning myself...I don't think so but I have been told as much. I hope that before anything serious happens I will be able to tame the insanity.
30 days until I graduate from Wasatch High School. Three months until I head off to Westminster college. I can't wait. I love the campus and the vibes it gives off. It's easy going and people actually care there. I know it's expensive, but that is where I need to be. I know a way will be provided to pay for it. I got at least $20,000 in grants/loans/scholarships which is nifty. Only $10,000 to go...I know, I know. I'm crazy. But it will be worth it. I am going to have a great experience and I cant wait to go. Most people cant wait to go to college because there is a new selection of guys and that is exciting. Well guess what, it is! I cannot wait to meet some hotties with nice bodies and get together with 'em. My head is insisting right now that I say I will not even consider getting serious with anyone right away. But my heart is just as fierce and wants to say that if someone comes along, I will not fight it, in fact I might submit easier.
However, I am a crazy person which a lot of people don't know about. Liker seriously, I am a crazy woman. I freak out about stupid things, and I see what I want to see. I guess I create drama that doesn't exist concerning myself...I don't think so but I have been told as much. I hope that before anything serious happens I will be able to tame the insanity.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Information Overload
People are peevin' me lately. But I shall get to that later.
Immediately after school I went over to the library and started a studyin'. I have my AP English Exam tomorrow and I'm not to excited. I just don't quite feel ready or agree with paying $87 for a test I could very well fail. Not exactly ideal. I have a string of literary devices running through my head, but I am afraid that when the terror of actually taking the test sets in, I will forget everything and ultimately fail. It is a three hour test, one hour of multiple choice testing and two to write three essays. Ugh.
Yesterday was theatre awards. It was a flop. I'm not surprised. We have big dreams and ideas, but no means, or talent for that matter, to accomplish them. Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of talented kids. Encore is truly fabulous. I'm proud of...most...of them. But the rest is embarrassing. Anyway, I remember my sophomore year when I went to theatre awards and saw all the seniors who were leaving. I looked up to them and aspired to be like that. My junior year, I realized I only had one more year and couldn't wait to feel that. Last night was a huge disappointment. I need closure and I have not received it, and sadly I probably never will. It's an unfortunate truth and it makes me mad.
I was chatting with a friend and we realized we would love a summer romance. I want to go picnicking and see movies. I want to go hiking and carve our initials in a tree. My pal said that was unrealistic and it broke my heart. Others can have that! Why can't I?
Anyway, I can't wait for summer to come. I want to be trendy and go on outings. According to Lucky Magazine, the following are hot this summer:
Immediately after school I went over to the library and started a studyin'. I have my AP English Exam tomorrow and I'm not to excited. I just don't quite feel ready or agree with paying $87 for a test I could very well fail. Not exactly ideal. I have a string of literary devices running through my head, but I am afraid that when the terror of actually taking the test sets in, I will forget everything and ultimately fail. It is a three hour test, one hour of multiple choice testing and two to write three essays. Ugh.
Yesterday was theatre awards. It was a flop. I'm not surprised. We have big dreams and ideas, but no means, or talent for that matter, to accomplish them. Don't get me wrong, we have a lot of talented kids. Encore is truly fabulous. I'm proud of...most...of them. But the rest is embarrassing. Anyway, I remember my sophomore year when I went to theatre awards and saw all the seniors who were leaving. I looked up to them and aspired to be like that. My junior year, I realized I only had one more year and couldn't wait to feel that. Last night was a huge disappointment. I need closure and I have not received it, and sadly I probably never will. It's an unfortunate truth and it makes me mad.
I was chatting with a friend and we realized we would love a summer romance. I want to go picnicking and see movies. I want to go hiking and carve our initials in a tree. My pal said that was unrealistic and it broke my heart. Others can have that! Why can't I?
Anyway, I can't wait for summer to come. I want to be trendy and go on outings. According to Lucky Magazine, the following are hot this summer:
Pony tails- Long strap across the body bags
- Friendship bracelets and necklaces
- Coral nail polish and lips
- Pastel nail color
The best part is I am totally into all of this right now! I was trying to find a cute little picture of pastel nail polish but instead I found this! I will be doing this, probably tomorrow and I can't wait. It's my reward for finishing my exam. Hurray!!!
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