Monday, March 21, 2011

Missing You

     Now that my brain is about to explode from the dramatics and foolish nonsense I always somehow dabble in, I thought Why not blog?  So here I sit on my bed, a frigid breeze lazily sweeping in from my window and all the lights off while I listen to the Marie Antoinette soundtrack.  It brings back memories of simpler times and I miss them.  I miss laughing loudly over silly things.  I miss making jokes.  I miss smiling.  I miss the content I once felt.  I miss the peace.
     But there is not sense in wishing and dreaming.  A dream is a wish the heart makes and unfortunately my heart has been broken for a time.  I know, I am a drama queen, but I have to let it out somehow and what better and more harmless way then channel it through blogging?
     Region drama is Thursday.  In three days.  I don't exactly feel prepared but I don't want to go on to state so I guess that isn't a bad thing.  I just am nervous to spend the entire day by myself (?) reciting a monologue I completely believe in, but have a hard time showing emotionally.  It's not that I don't feel emotional over it.  I do, especially as of late.  But I can't seem to show it with my eyes.  Oh yeah, that is because I keep my eyes down the entire time.  Hmm...I wonder who enforced that.
     I hope tomorrow is better.  I am always nervous and anxious and my heart is always pounding but I don't know how to fix this.  I have made a big mess when I should have stayed out of it.  I only have myself to blame.

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